Defying Distance

Do you remember that sitcom So Little Time, featuring the Olsen twins? “So little time, so much to do”. Making time for our relationship has become increasingly difficult, and I miss him more than ever. Fortunately, we are still going strong, and I think these tips have something to do with it. Enjoy!

1. Decorate your dorm with pictures. This is pretty self explanatory, but if you want to try something different, I have an idea. Purchase CD jewel cases and slide your pictures into the lid of each case. Hang the cases on your wall using command strips. Tadaa! Your welcome. You will now be branded as the artsy resident on your floor.

2. Wear his clothes. At least a quarter of the clothing items I packed for college came from his closet. Remember darling, sharing is caring. When I don’t pair his black v-neck with skinny jeans and converse, it serves as a good substitute for pj’s.

3. Share your story. It is never long before his name slips into the conversation. Fair warning: most guys will distance themselves after you reveal the existence of your Prince Charming. Screw. Them.

4. Exchange academic schedules. This could very well be the best tip I have to offer. Exchanging schedules has allowed us to coordinate texts, calls, and Skype sessions.

5. Create playlists. “First Flight Home” by Jake Miller is a must.

6. Send morning/night texts. If you have seen the college triangle, you know that you can only pick two of the three: good grades, social life, enough sleep. So far, I have been slacking on sleep. Emojis are the reason I get out of bed in the morning.

7. Purchase college apparel. There is more than enough school spirit to go around. I recently snatched him a t-shirt from the bookstore for $7. Should I not have mentioned the price? Go Cuse!

8. Utilize the couple app. If you haven’t heard of this app or you want to know more about it, click on the blue link.

9. Plan study dates on FaceTime. There have been days when we can’t squeeze in a descent conversation. Those tend to be the days we need each other the most. The work load can be stressful at times and so, knowing that he is on my screen comforts me.

10. Keep a countdown of the next visit. The suspense is killing me, but I know that I have a great weekend to look forward to.

College Talk Pt. 2

 

The day is approaching, and the two of you are about to part ways. You’ve made the decision to stay together, but what happens now? The “What ifs” are plentiful. Naturally, you might be asking yourself, “What if I meet someone new?”

The other day I tweeted, “Tbh I think distance is a really lame excuse to break up. If you miss him/her, fill up the car or buy a plane ticket. Do what you gotta do.” Long distance relationships work as long as you put work into them. However, at the end of the day, relationships are meant to be supportive, not stressful. Go with the flow. During college, you should take the time to explore. Meet new people, and try new things.

If you do take an interest in someone new, my first suggestion would be to sort out your current relationship before jumping into a new one. Distance can cause feelings to fade, so take a trip. Visit your boyfriend on campus, and see how that goes. Is the chemistry still there? Are you smiling? laughing? happy? Once you know how you feel, communicate with him and get his perspective. Hopefully, you two will be on the same page.

Long distance relationships are difficult to say the least. Therefore, don’t put any added pressure on yourself. If things don’t work out, so be it, and if they do, that’s great. College is a time to be selfish, so do you. If someone wants to come along for the ride, it just makes it all the more fun.

Couple App

Why I have not downloaded this app sooner still puzzles me. Well, better late than never.

The other day, I was surfing this thing called the World Wide Web, searching for ways to cope with the distance. I was in Miami for three weeks, so I cannot complain. However, the first few days apart are always the hardest. In a Seventeen Magazine article titled “Rock Your Long Distance Relationship!”, I came upon this app. It was especially recommended for long distance relationships. I had nothing to lose.

I turned to the App Store on my iPhone and searched “Couple App”. I was greeted by its five star rating and downloaded it. Like most apps, you make an account, but then you “pair up”. You insert your boyfriend’s information, and the app sends him an invitation. Once you both make an account and pair up, the fun begins!

The app’s first feature is the Calendar. Immediately, it asks for your birthday, your partner’s birthday, and your anniversary. Ever worry about missing an important date? Problem solved! Underneath that, you have the Lists. Personally, my boyfriend and I have been bouncing around blog ideas, and so, that has been a great place to package our thoughts. The best lies within the Moments. Any pictures, sketches, or videos are stored there. It is similar to a Camera Roll, except that it is exclusive to your relationship. Aside from that, you can call, text, or Facetime. Like iMessage, you can also use read receipts. The app tells you when the app is minimized, when your partner is online, and when your partner is typing or sketching. Side note, emojis are included.

If you select the plus button next to the text box, a whole other world opens up. You have the options to: 1) Take a photo 2) Record a video 3) Record audio 4)  Track you current location 5) Sketch and send a drawing 6) Send an automatic message that reads, “Thinking of you” 7) Thumbkiss 8) Live Sketch a drawing with him. If you can’t already tell, I am in love with this app. It creates a space for your relationship, and I think that it adds a sense of intimacy that other technologies lack. I recommend it to any couple, no matter the distance.

 

College Talk

Everyone has a high school sweetheart. First period, you see “that couple” kissing in the corner. They seem inseparable, but what happens come graduation? Chances are, they will physically part ways. Whether or not they stay in each other’s lives is a whole other conversation.

No one likes to talk about it, but sooner or later, one of you has to bring it up. There are a lot of questions that need to be asked. Be prepared because you might not always have the same answers. Do I love him? Does he love me? Do I want to meet new people? How will we manage to visit each other? You don’t have to address all these questions in one day. Start with the simpler ones, and then you two can work out the logistics. For example, can we afford to maintain a long distance relationship? College students are on a budget, and if you want to invest time, energy, and money, you need to make sure that you are capable of doing so.

Theoretically, let’s say it doesn’t work out. Stay friends. When moving away to college, many people assume that they have to throw away the past and live in the future. Yes, you are going to make new memories and meet new people at college, but you should not forget your old memories and your old friends. The past helped shape who you are today. There is a lot of pressure in high school, academically and socially. If your high school sweetheart was any good to you, he served as your support system. Life is always going to bring you obstacles, and you will not be successful if you don’t have love. Everyone needs a BFF Jill.

On the other hand, what if you make the bold decision to stay together? You’re high school sweetheart may be your soulmate, but trust me, FaceTime will be your new best friend. Personally, my boyfriend and I have decided to continue our long distance relationship through college. He will be attending Florida International University, and I will be attending Syracuse University. We will be, give or take, about twenty hours apart (driving). If you are in the same boat, or dealing with distance for the first time, I advise you to trust. If you spend your time worrying or doubting, it will not last. Be secure in yourself and your relationship, and may the odds be ever in your favor.

Nonna

-noun

The term for grandmother in Italian.

Marc Jacobs once said that clothes mean nothing until someone lives in them. When I wear my mother’s overalls, I feel independent. She has managed to single handedly raise two teenagers. When I wear my boyfriend’s oversized t-shirt, I feel secure. He has a good heart and always defends those he cares about. When I wear my grandmother’s jacket, I feel confident. Nonna is defined in that she has a set of core values, yet she is also open, open to new ideas and people. Through her example, she has taught me that in order to better yourself, you must learn from others. However, the goal is not to become the person whom you admire. Take a piece from each person that inspires you, and you will be remembered for your own individual style.

Photograph by Ela Komsul

Struggle City

Whoever said that being in a long distance relationship is easy…Wait, no one ever says that. Here’s why:

1. Can you hear me? There is always a bad connection. He can be standing in the living room, the bedroom, or the bathroom, and “I love you” still sounds like “BlahBooFooBeep”.

2. Why does the Skype call keep dropping? Right when he’s about to communicate his emotions, the call drops. Is he sad? mad? The world may never know.

3. Why are tickets so expensive? Couples in my town hold hands for free, but I have to pay $300 for the chance to do the same thing.

4. I’ll send you a picture. Everything is a “you had to be there” moment. So, you attempt to share the experience through a picture. It is always bad quality.

5. Can you help me study? No. You go to different schools, and though you are taking the same classes, your teachers teach at different paces. He’s on Chapter 30, and you are on Chapter 32. You’re going to fail.

6. What are we fighting about again? There’s not much to fight about when you are miles away. So you fight about nothing.

7. Can I see you in two months? You’re both broke, and you cannot afford to be spontaneous.

8. Am I going there? or are you coming here? You’re minors. Your parents will have separation anxiety if you leave for more than two weeks.

9. When did you get that haircut? You sometimes go days without seeing him, and when you do, you have to ask for identification to make sure you are talking to the same guy.

10. Cuddle? Oops, you can’t. Keep your boyfriend close, and your teddy bear closer.

Photograph by Ela Komsul

The Virtual Couple

-noun

Two individuals that utilize technology and forms of social media to maintain a romantic relationship

There is the misconception that because the virtual couple heavily relies on technology, the relationship is insincere. Yes, technology can alter reality. Girls can layer filters on a selfie before posting it on Instagram. Guys can consult five friends before sending a text message. I cannot deny nor neglect those truths. However, having been in a long distance relationship for about three years now, I do have some insight to offer. Upon hearing about our relationship, everyone’s favorite question is “How do you do it?”  With patience, darling. Technology serves as a tool in the relationship, it does not manipulate it.